**** FIRST: I’m gradually transitioning over to SubStack, you can find me there at https://substack.com/@nicolevanwoudenberg537157?utm_source=user-menu *****

Picture this: it’s 6:00 a.m. The alarm rudely wakes you up out of a deep sleep, but up you must get to start your day. The day is planned out. Get dressed, wake the kids up, make breakfast, pack lunches, hurry them up to get dressed and brush their teeth, ask them for the third time to just please! put shoes and coats on…a normal week-day morning.

Normal everyday expectations.

But. You go to wake up the kids and find that your 9-month-old has pooped through his sleeper, all over the crib sheets and is happily sitting in it.  All of a sudden, your morning changes. You go wake up the other kids, tell them to get dressed and all that, run the water in the bathtub because the only way to clean the little guy up is in a bath. And now you also have a load of laundry that must be done….it cannot wait. You’re behind and your day has barely started! Your 4-year-old tried to pour her own milk into her cereal bowl but spilled some on the floor. More clean up to do. Then your 10-year-old tells you it’s dress up day! And your 6-year-old can’t find his coat.

Welp!!  Not the way you expected the day to start! It’s filled with frustration, stress, worry about being late, and of course, traffic is worse than normal. As moms we can easily melt down alongside our children, and we yell, nag, and cry tears of frustration. We all can have melt downs at times.

You’ve finally dropped off the kids at school and arrive back home with your clean 9-month-old.  You plop him in the high-chair and give him a snack to keep him happy. You grab a cup of coffee and sit down heavily.  You take some nice, deep, long breaths and look back on the morning and feel overwhelmed by regret and shame at how you handled things. “Why can’t they find their stuff? Why did they have to make such a mess and make us late? Why can’t I just keep my cool? Why did I yell…. again?” It’s easy to let our minds go to darker places that tell us we’re failures, that our kids don’t like us, and “how could God possibly love me?” Oh, and then we berate ourselves for eating that chocolate cake last night and bemoan our inability to be self-disciplined. “Why is self-control so hard?”

When things don’t go our way, there are ways that we can react – some that are helpful and well, some not so helpful. We wrestle with our flesh. We wrestle with temptation to sin common to all of humanity. Our pride, arrogance, envy, impatience, selfishness, and idolatry seem to follow us like a ‘Peter Pan sewn-on-shadow’.

The above situation is hard. Irritating. Annoying. But what about when the “bigger” things hit? A cancer diagnosis. Loss of a job. The death of a loved one. Disability from paralysis. An accident that leaves your spouse in a coma. Depression. How do we deal with these blows? How can we handle these things? How do we remain faithful?

It starts when your life is relatively calm; without hard things. Usually when you’re younger. Although it’s never too late as I have found. It comes from recognizing and believing several key things about our heavenly God and Father.

1. The Bible is very clear that God is sovereign. He is in control and we are not. Even if you think you’re in control, you’re not. Yes, we can do things to affect the outcome of our days to a certain extent. We can ‘control’ our kids – to a certain extent. But still, as Jesus taught in  Luke 12: 7, “Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

And in Luke 21:18, “But not a hair of your head will perish.” (this is in relation to persecution, but still relevant for God’s sovereignty.) 

Matthew 10:29-31, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows”

There are many other passages that assure us that God is almighty over all things from before Creation through eternity. His will is done from the largest thing to the tiniest.

• God predestines all things:

Ephesians 1:11, “In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will…”

Every single event that occurs is in some sense predestined by God. That doesn’t negate human responsibility – but that is a topic for another day.

Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” God weaves all of life together! God has always been doing good for us and will continue to do so. Even if and when we don’t understand it.

Colossians 1:16-17, “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities – all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” God is Lord of all creation. He plans, he decides. He set all of life in motion and sustains and upholds it all, in all times and in all places.

Isaiah 45:7-9, “I form light and create darkness; I make well-being and create calamity; I am the LORD, who does all these things. ‘Shower, O heavens, from above, and let the clouds rain down righteousness; let the earth open, that salvation and righteousness may bear fruit; let the earth cause them both to sprout; I the LORD have created it.’  Woe to him who strives with him who formed him, a pot among earthen pots! Does the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’ or ‘Your work has no handles’?”

• The Lord’s creative will and wise purposes are behind everything. And it’s only as we hope in God’s sovereignty that we can be encouraged when things even seem contrary to what we think should be his good purposes. (like healing, a job, etc.)

Proverbs 16:33, “The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD.”  Even a random decision or an unbiased choice is under God’s providential governance.

Proverbs 16:9, “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”

Job 42:2, “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.”

There – the word purpose. God’s purposes are good and right and true simply because HE is good and right and true. He is faithful to all his promises. His love is steadfast towards us. Look at Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”  Here: we make plans, but God’s purposes – his plans, his will – will prevail.

This can be challenging and comforting. Especially when things are going wrong every which way we look.  Yes, we should make plans, but we need to hold them loosely. We need to confess that even when we think our plans, our expectations are best, God’s wisdom far surpasses ours.  We read in James 4:13-15, “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit’, whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.’”

When you immerse yourself in the Word of God, when you make time to soak in the Scriptures and meditate on it, when you memorize passages, and when you pray faithfully, the trust you need in God will grow. God has promised that when we ask him to give us the Holy Spirit – he will.  When we ask God to direct and guide us in his ways, he will. When we trust in God’s purposes, we will be blessed. How? By realizing that God will always meet every need you have for every situation. God provides us with exactly what we need. I often remind myself that God will give me manna for each day. Just as the LORD gave the Israelites manna for each day while they were wandering in the desert, he will give me what I need, and what you need. Perhaps not what we want…. but always what we need.

In Part 2 I hope to share my own personal journey as I grow in faith and trust in Almighty God!

Grace and Peace.