Discipleship and Prayer

Unlike mentoring, discipleship is distinctly Christian.  Discipleship is to be centered in the Word, Christ – focused, and in prayer.  Vanessa Hawkins describes discipleship this way: “discipleship is growing in the knowledge of the Lord, in the wisdom of the Lord, in the likeness of the Lord, with affections for the Lord, until we see the Lord.”

Basically – discipleship is our spiritual growth – as we aim to conform ourselves to the image of Christ – to be more Christ like in all we are. 

I believe there are three parts to discipleship – we are called to be disciples, we are being discipled, and we are called to be in the business of disciplining others.

A disciple is a student – learning from another person.  In the case of the Christian, we learn from Jesus. Jim Putman says, “A disciple is someone who is following Jesus, being changed by Jesus, and is committed to the mission of Jesus.”  And to be a disciple is to belong to a discipleship – the local church.  This is not to be underestimated.  I like what Melissa Kruger has said: “there are no lone range Christians.”  We, as believers, one and all, belong to the body of Christ.  And the local church is how we belong to the body!

No matter our age, social status, theological education, gender, career, we are all being discipled.  No one is without the need of being discipled.  It’s a lifelong process of learning to love and follow Jesus! It’s realizing that we are living our lives in union with Christ – we in him, and us in him! Thus, discipleship is to be Christ-focused. And to be effective – God’s Word and prayer needs to have a central place in our lives!  Seeking to know God through His Word is important – theology is for everyone. But the goal is for that knowledge to work in our hearts, leading to a deeper love for God that bears the fruit of godly living!  And we need to know right theology – otherwise, how can we faithfully disciple others?  Right thinking – right theology is a significant part of our discipleship.  A lifelong process.

In the same vein, we are called as disciples to disciple others. How? Walking with someone, sharing in their lives, guiding, teaching, loving, reading God’s word together, and praying with and for them.  What we are doing is testifying to God’s faithfulness by pointing to how God is working in our lives – how we’ve seen God be faithful to His promises – how His word has sustained us, how Christ has and is conforming us to His image.   We cannot walk alone – we need each other!  God designed it this way – and gave us His body – the church.  We are to discipleship each other in the local church – in the body we belong to.  Each person’s presence in worship is essential – everyone is needed.  Discipleship isn’t about individualism – it’s about the Body of Christ growing together in knowledge and love for Jesus. The Great Commission in Matthew 28 is FOR the Church – Jesus instructed his disciples – and all believers – to make disciples and to teach them to observe his commandments, not just in the manner of evangelizing, but also within the local church. 

Women are also called to this commission.  Paul tells Titus that his job as pastor is to teach appropriate and sound doctrine for the purpose of equipping the saints to teach others.  And yes, women have a place in the local church to teach other women.  Specifically, Paul tells Titus that in teaching the older women to be sound Christians in their daily walk, they in turn can teach the younger women.  There is a place for discipleship – and mentorship – in the local church where younger women are encouraged by older women – seeking their wisdom, learning from them, and being taught by them. 

Earlier I said that we are all being discipled.  And I would add to that  –  whether we are aware of it or not.  Jesus didn’t call the disciples from not being disciples to being disciples, he called them from being discipled – or influenced – by whatever it was they were being discipled under to being discipled his way!  We are all being influenced daily by what we see, read, hear, and by the company we keep.  We need to ask ourselves routinely who and what we are being influenced by.  This is critical to our lives as disciples – if we are imitating or being influenced by the wrong person, thing, idea, or desire – we will be directly responsible for the consequences of discipling others in a manner not in line with God’s word. 

So, how do we protect ourselves from the dangers of imitating the wrong thing or person or from being influenced by something not godly?  Imitate Jesus – and those who walk faithfully with the Lord. In Philippians 3:17, Paul says, “Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do.”

Clinton Marley (a writer for Desiring God) wrote: “Show me the company you keep, and I’ll tell you what you soon will want.”  Chew on that for a while!   We must examine our lives with a discerning and critical spirit – seek the feedback of others and adjust our habits as necessary.  And of course – keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. 

Discipleship is an act that spurs us on to be like Christ – and praying together is a loving act of discipleship.  Face to face praying is a large part of discipleship. It’s very easy to tell others we will pray for them, and it’s generally easy to ask for prayers.  And sometimes while we tell people we will pray for them – we often forget.  There is a way to prevent that.  Pray with someone right then and there.  Ask yourself how willing you are to do this. And if it makes you uncomfortable, be curious, and try to find out the source of the discomfort so you can deal with it.

Praying with another person requires selflessness.  We need to set aside our own needs and requests to disciple another person in need. And we need to learn to set aside our own comfort to give the gift of praying with and for someone.  I realize that it’s not all that easy for many people.  It requires courage!  I understand – it’s not easy to pray knowing someone is listening to every word.  And in our humanness, we can be beset with fears of being judged, critiqued on our ability to speak coherently, of making mistakes, forgetting what to pray for, repeating things…. the list can go on.  But truly, a sincere Christian will not be critical of someone who is praying aloud.  IF there is judgment, then something certainly needs to be addressed in that person’s heart. 

What then?  We all need to learn to set aside the pressure we put on ourselves to speak eloquently – such as the prayers we hear off the pulpit (by the way, did you know that many ministers write out their prayers?).   We need to learn to remember that all that’s necessary is to pray from the heart – a heart that is being conformed to the image of Christ.  Ask God for the words you need before you open your mouth.  He will answer!  And – it is okay to be short and succinct.

Being together in person allows us to see the other’s body language, to hear her tone of voice, to visibly be aware of the needs she has.  When we pray face to face with someone, we can see her pain, or joy, or how burdened she may be feeling.  We can be present, actively listening, and being the hands and feet of Jesus right then and there.  Here is where love flourishes.  Here is how we bear each other’s burdens!  We cannot and should not keep our burdens to ourselves.  Galatians 6:2: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”  This doesn’t mean the entire church needs to hear all of our troubles and trials – or all the details.  Your small group is a great place for that.  And within a discipleship relationship in particular, trust is established, the relationship is growing, and the care and love is present.

Praying together has benefits. I’ll share 5 that Megan Hill writes about in her book, “Praying Together.” I’m not going to go into details, but here they are:  1) praying together strengthens our faith – of both parties, 2) it trains us in theology – the study of God, 3) it trains us in repentance, 4) it trains us in desire, and 5) it trains us in thankfulness.

A significant way we serve and love one another within discipleship relationships is through prayer.  To foster praying together, we need to form the habit of praying together before we will instinctively and spontaneously pray together.  This spontaneous prayer is something we should cultivate more within the body of Christ.  How?  By being intentional about it!   The next time there is an opportunity to pray with someone, make the decision ahead of time to do it.  Hold yourself accountable to it.  Ask God to give you the strength, courage, and wisdom.  That is the kind of prayer He will answer positively! 

Finally, in order to be able to grow in praying with others within the context of discipleship, don’t forget to focus on your own prayer life. Focus on making your prayer life abundant! Not by trying harder in our own ways – growing in prayerfulness is grounded in applying and understanding the gospel. We simply need to ask God for more of His presence.  When we delight in Christ, in the riches of his love, in what God is doing for us – we will naturally desire to know and love God more and pray more. When we strive to know and experience the depth of God’s love for us – prayer will no longer be a duty – it will be a joyful response!  Understanding and knowing God more leads us to love God more, to desire and worship Him more, and gives us a greater desire to disciple each other in God’s word and prayer!

Grace and Peace